During the drag portion, I performed in my roommate, Hannah’s, “DOUCHEdrag” act as Ruth’s “5-minute girlfriend”. She did a song called Electric Six’s Vibrator. The story behind Hannah’s act? “Douchebag Awareness” and social activism. Ruth and I are this lesbian couple strolling along when we come across Hannah, who is this total d-bag… you know, the frat boy that thinks he can “turn” a lesbian “straight”… The total misogynist prick who thinks that a woman’s place is with him inside of her. So, she was wearing a  Jägermeister polo shirt and my aviators and just looked like a total d-bag. Then, she broke apart Ruth and I when the “she don’t need no vibrator” hook came in. Meanwhile, Ruth and I are, like, “WOAH?? DUDE! WTF!!!” Then, Hannah is all ‘macho’ and ‘badass’ and blahblahblah… So Ruth and I tie her down with a rainbow flag and walk away, happily ever after. Awesome, eh?

Then, Jane and I performed some “Dropkick Drag” to The Dirty Glass.
The back-story?  I am a pissed off drag queen (aka “Darcy Darling” aka the bar) that is madly in love with Jane, who is this gorgeous drag queen dressed up like a devil and full of her self/a former/current/whatever flame of mine. She starts the song showing herself off and being a diva, while I’m singing to her about how much I’m longing for her and giving her googly eyes. All the while, she’s ignoring me because she’s full of herself. She then hears my song and get’s pissed off, ripping off her drag/throwing it at me and changing to get the hell out of my bar as fast as possible. I’m SHOCKED… Then, I’m all sad and wahwahwah and it turns to being pissed. So we fight a little back and forth because I’m pissed at how rude Jane is being after I’ve “taken care of her” (aka fed her lots of booze, because “Darcy” is a metaphor for a bar). I get in her face, so she throws more shit at me, pissed off. I keep storming off and pouting from not getting any affection. On the line that says “listen to the big shot with his pager on call, you spent most of those nights in my bathroom stall”, i pull out a flask from jane’s bra and wave it around, showing that there was a past relationship of some sort there (because I know where she keeps her booze). She pulls the flask out of my hand drinks more. Drunk as shit, she stumbles on me, forgetting that she hates me for a moment in the reprise of the opening. We dance. Then, she realizes that she hates me again as the loud, angry music returns, sobering up for a moment and being all “WOAH??” So we fight some more, and then storms out… so I chase after her.
She then comes to her senses (or is too piss drunk to care) and falls in my arms, kissing me.

So, here’s a video that Heather took of our performance… have fun!

Dropkick Drag

We had quite a bit of fun doing this. Jane got to beat me up on stage, and I got to pull out a flask from her boobs.
And ANT was amused. (Did I mention how starstruck I still am??)

It was a pretty awesome night. I’ll post more photos and things later!

My favorite band of ever just released a new album… only it was slightly blown out of my radar, despite months of excitement for it, because of three songs that members of Enter the Haggis released for flood relief. I’ll ramble about those at the end of this post briefly.

This post is all about my first listen to BNL’s new album, All In Good Time.
I’ve listened to it a few times since, so I’ll try to stick with just first impressions… which means no hardcore obsessive lyrics rants… I haven’t gotten a chance to *really* look at the lyrics yet anyways, but I’m sure I will soon. Lyrics are what makes BNL so awesome… besides awesome instrumentals.
Overall, it’s a fine album. The remaining four Barenaked Ladies really show that they can pull their own because there’s sooo much talent in their ranks. It’s their second album ever as a quartet… the other being Born On A Pirate Ship, which was recorded just before Kevin Hearn had joined and Andy Creeggan had left.
There are two tracks that were bonuses from amazon.com/going to a concert that I’m still trying to get my hands on…

I’ll put it right out there for the hardcore BNL fans out there…. Yes, it was pretty weird not hearing the fabulous Mr Steve Page, but only until around the fifth track… His absence is really present… Then, I kind of got use to it for a moment… but not really, because as soon as I was starting to really getting use to it, Ed slams my ears with two angry/bitter/bittersweet/ughhh *sigh*!! songs that are clearly about his former bandsmate… And it doesn’t help that Ed is very influenced by Steve’s songwriting. It’s impossible for him not to be after twenty years of beautiful musical collaboration.
So I don’t know… Steve Page himself sang it best “It took me a year to believe it was over, and it took me two more to get over the loss.” But this album isn’t helping. It’s weird, but the others are so talented and so influenced by him… that it’s a good album.

Here are my first impressions of the new songs:

1. You Run Away (Ed Robertson)
Cute little alt-rock song. It’s been out for over a month. I twittered that my first impression of the song  was that it’s very Coldplay-meets-the-Decemberists-and-collides-head-on-with-the-epic-that-is-BNL. I think that still holds as an accurate description. The piano kicks so much ass. The lyrics are depressing. And the video is awesome… it shows an angry!Ed Roberston, but more like ‘why’d you do this to me?’ angry instead of ‘I really hate you rawrrrr!’ angry… On a happier note, his falsetto continues to make my life.
“I did my best, but it wasn’t enough.”

2. Summertime (Ed Robertson/Ian LeFeuvre)
My favorite song on the album right now.  Co-written by Ian LeFeuvre of the Canadian indie trio [The Hundreds and Thousands]. Pretty awesome collaboration. Robertson/LeFeuvre is kind of weird because of LeFeuvre’s Muse/Radiohead influence, but still interesting. It’s a hopeful song, but still angry… and presented as bouncy. The choruses sound very ‘disco’ for a moment… Interesting contrast. The song shouldn’t work, but in true BNL-fashion, it does. I love the really in-your-face doubled-like-woah “do-me-sol” pattern all over it. Adds to the angry.
“We cover it up, we bottle it in/But that won’t make it feel right.”

3. Another Heartbreak (Kevin Hearn)
An interesting song. Starts with Kevin singing in octaves with a piano, then it turns into a pile of alt-rock awesome. The tune just won’t leave my head. I’ve never really gotten used to Kevin’s voice, but it works with this song.
“I lost my way in the summer breeze/I fell down to my hands and knees/And now I’m searching/Through the autumn leaves.”

4. Four Seconds (Ed Robertson/Ian LeFeuvre)
I really enjoy this song. Again, it just *shouldn’t* work. It’s kind of a Latin jazz thing… combined with a very Indian/Bollywood chorus… I remember seeing a clip of this one on youtube last year. Pretty cool. And, TYLER sings the choruses. I never knew that Tyler could sing until the past year. After seeing clips of his Alcohol, I was sold. It also sounds like it’s pushing through… reminds me of Crazy a bit.. like Ed’s going insane.
“Now rewind./What’d you have in mind?/Could we unwind? I’m fine, we can find a streamline./Recombined, intertwined.”

5. On the Lookout (Jim Creeggan)
Jim singing lead… Woah. With Kevin harmonizing. WOAH. Pure secks, those two. Another cute song. Huge contrast from Four Seconds… Slight ‘gangsta’ feel in the background with Ed. It sounds like a cliche 80s diva song in parts. Really stretched out, flowing lines… I love the strings on it too. It’s one of the most hopeful songs on this album.
“When we looked out/The waves crashed/Smashing our past/Moving fast/Nothing lasts/Make it last.”

6. Ordinary (Ed Robertson)
Another song that really stands out. Very folk-rock. Think For You, only more moving and awesome. (OK, nothing beats For You..)  The more I listen to it, the more it’s becoming one of my favorite BNL songs of ever. I love the melody sooo much. It’s been stuck in my head all week. It’s ambiguous, lyrically… but probably about Steven Page. My mind started freaking out on it the first time… because I’d just gotten use to not hearing his voice… then this song popped up, which is clearly very influenced by him, if not about him… ughhh. And the opening is just melodic brilliance.
“I can’t stay too long/Can only play a handful of songs/How a melody can make up your mind/Take a memory and leave it behind.”

7. I Have Learned (Ed Robertson)
YES! Angry!Ed Robertson! This one stands out too… It’s just, in one word, angry. And also, CLEARLY about Steven Page. ughhhhh. I was just getting used to not hearing his voice too… and then Ed throws Ordinary and this one at my ears… I love it. It’s an angry rock song. And the chord progression is secks.
“Spare me the parlor tricks/That impress your fans./Waving your candlesticks/In your burned hands./I have learned to live with livin’ with/Every choice we made./But I would love to live with giving this/Shaky voice some shade.”

8. Every Subway Car (Ed Robertson)
Another one I’d heard before. It was called “Graffiti Love” for the longest time. (Graffiti is also spelled wrong in the liner notes oops) It’s also very alt-rock. And clearly influenced by Steven Page. It’s bouncy, but also very ambiguous. I have almost no idea wtf Ed is singing about, and that’s a good thing.
“My backpack was faded black/But now it’s all blue./It looks whack, but it’s compact/And works like brand new.”

9. Jerome (Kevin Hearn)
It’s growing on me… Kevin sings lead, and it’s more of a slow country-ish ballad about ghosts. I really didn’t like it at first and nearly blew it off as one of those songs I wasn’t going to pay any attention to. It’s weird… and the beat is so straight-forward that it annoyed me at first.
“Bar brawlers and drifters/Gamblers and gun fighters/Ladies of the evening, and copper miners/They kept the jailhouse filled‘til it rolled down the hill.”

10. How Long (Ed Robertson)
It’s really different from anything else they’ve ever done. It’s also pretty angry, and the beat is driving. And the piano blows my mind. It sounds like Ed is going crazy. I love it. The way it starts is brilliant. “So give it up for anger, it makes us strong.” It just starts with that line, and it’s really in your face. And the guitar line is interesting. Pretty prog rock… think Muse or Mute Math…
“We never discuss the notches/We just fight away/Even a busted watch is right twice a day.”
“That’s what it takes to go there/On and on/You make a good case for nowhere/So that’s where I’ve gone./Don’t say how long.”

11. Golden Boy (Ed Robertson)
Again, a huge contrast from the last track. It’s pretty happy. I don’t get the chord progression in the chorus; it’s slightly awkward, but it’s growing on me. I love Ed’s vocal line into the instrumental section. It’s very showtune-like. It’s another hopeful song… slight tint of angry/cathartic… And, OMG, they finally learned how to write an incredible ending. It’s also one of the only tracks that I can really say that I miss Steven Page singing on… His influence is just such a huge part of the entire song that it’s hard to miss. The harmony just screams PAGE/ROBERTSON!!!!! RAWRR!!! I almost cried. It’s also probably directed at Page, but these guys have always been good at ambiguity. ughhhhh.
“Hey, Golden Boy/Don’t let the darkness in to take you away from yourself./Nobody else, there’s nobody left to make you run/Somebody new, maybe it’s you/Only bereft of meaning.”

12. I Saw It (Jim Creeggan)
Woah. Jim singing lead again! Pretty awesome. And his harmony with Kevin is pure SECKS. This song is also quite ambiguous, but probably directed at Steven Page. I never thought that Jim/Kevin harmony would be this incredible… It’s a really cute song, and really bittersweet. In the end, it just fades away. It’s an interesting contrast from Golden Boy..
“You took what we all hide./We all hide from/The hooks went right inside/Then the feeling numbs./In the park/By the playground/I won’t let you down/You think you deserve it./I won’t stand and observe it.”

13. The Love We’re In (Ed Robertson)
I just LOVE the intro… and the chord progression. It’s perhaps a very cliche song, but Ed’s voice makes me MELT on it. The melody is pretty awesome… and it also shows off the vocal awesome I’ve grown to love with the harmonies of the other three gents. As much as I generally don’t like Kevin’s singing as a lead singer (he’s an INCREDIBLE mutli-instrumentalist/musician!), he’s clearly the vocal glue behind most BNL songs. It’s a cute song. Yet, if I didn’t know that Steven Page was no longer in the band, I would’ve probably placed a bet that the song was also a Page/Robertson collaboration… He’s just become such a part of Ed’s songwriting… The over-all concept of it is clearly very ROBERTSON… but the lyrics and some aspects of the vocal lines scream PAGE. *sigh*
“Even a beggar must have to choose./They say you shouldn’t wager more than youcan lose/So, make mine a double, just hold the booze.”

14. Northern Lights (Kevin Hearn)
I don’t know where to place this song. Kevin sings leads (ok, still not my favorite thing in the world, but I can deal)… and the piano is pretty freaking awesome. I just think that Kevin could write a much better melody than this… (after hearing his work with Thinbuckle) It’s a pretty awesome piano line though… And I enjoy the harmony, and how the song builds. He scats at the end. It makes no sense, but it works. It’s a very surreal ending instrument. This was sort of the kind of song that I was almost afraid of, but it’s really not the disaster I was expecting… far from it.
“In the true northern darkness/Far from the sleeping towns/We lay there in the silence/Young and free, half asleep, spellbound.”

15. All In Good Time (Kevin Hearn)
It’s the title track…  Awesome folk-y guitar intro. Kevin sings lead… and the harmony is what makes this one stand out. Some of the lead vocal line sounds like Shopping… like Kevin singing Shopping, specifically. I think that’s why I don’t like this song as much. I just don’t like Kevin singing Shopping… But it’s a good attempt.
“The clock has two hands/Strong to hold you tight./You can’t buy another chance/To get things right.”

16. She Turned Away (Jim Creeggan)
A bonus track for being a dork and pre-ordering. It’s Jim singing lead. And the other gents backing him. I LOVE the harmony on this one. And the instrumentals are cute. Really slow, relaxing song. I was afraid that it’d be another “Rabbit and the Res-erection”… thankfully, it’s not. In fact, as much as I like that abomination of a song, nothing on this album’s like it. THANKFULLY. So yea.

I freaking love this album…
But it’s release was almost over-shadowed by three songs written by three members of Enter the Haggis for the recent floods in the Northeast. BNL will always be something special to me… but I’ve seen Enter the Haggis live many more times… and the gents are some of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. They blow my mind with how incredible they are… and their humanitarian efforts are more mind-blowingly amazing than their work.
So yea, go [HERE], download, donate and ENJOY.

Trevor Lewington wrote Watch the Water Rise, which seriously sounds like it belongs in Flaherty & Aherns’ The Spitfire Grill. Brian Buchanan’s fiddle part is so awesome in it. It’s so in-your-face FOLK that it just makes my life. I like the tempo and the pacing the most… it’s a serious song, but it moves. Sounds a lot like an Elders inspiration.
Craig Downie wrote  Save the Real School, which shows off his comedic “laugh it all off and it will work out” attitude. Amusing little tune. Makes me giggle my arse off, even though it’s supposed to be for a serious situation. There’s a line in it about turning a tuba into a canoe. I’m not kiddie. Craig Downie’s comic relief lyrics FTW!
And finally, the tune that I just can’t get out of my head all week… Brian Buchanan’s The Flood. It’s in d-minor, the saddest key of all. “All these years of commitment and careers and we’re all up to our ears in fear and doubt and water flowing down and out. We all try to drown it out and stay dry. We all try.” For a song he wrote in two hours, he surely shows an incredible way with words… and a fine approach to songwriting. He said he wanted to record a violin line, but didn’t have the time. Sad! I hope he builds on this song, because he’s got something beautiful with it. The tune’s been haunting me really badly. I’ve worked it out by ear on the piano and want to play with it myself… because d-minor is awesome on my voice. The range is comfy (up an octave, obviously), so I enjoy singing along with it. It sounds like it took him way more than two hours to come up with it too… Pretty awesome. I can imagine a cello or viola line… Violin just isn’t mellow enough. But it’s gorgeous. I can’t say enough good about it… because he just doesn’t stop blowing my mind.

So yea…. next post will hopefully be pimping out a new layout and trying it out more like than my local version of “live”, which just gives me a rough idea of how it will respond truly live. It’s looking shiny! After that, I’m going to clean this all up and make it look like a legit website. That’s my plan.
Bye, loves!

ok, off to learn about cults/new religious movements. cool. perhaps a preview of my new layout later when i have to actually test it live instead of with xampp. schweet. i hope i get del the proudly homicidal bus driver again. not kidding, my face was about two inches from a tree this morning on my failed venture to class… ohh wets chester! you’re kyoote!

i’m also going to take the time to rethink some things for my domain and clean up this blog — especially that damn tags list! maybe i’ll turn this blog into something more academic… go back to displaying poetry? writing? who knows?
it just won’t be a space for ‘personal’ rambling nonsense. maybe a sporadic concert ‘review’ once in a while, sure… but it will NOT be a ‘look at how bad i screwed everything up now!!’ blog. i’d love to have a dynamic resume/portfolio up some time before march, for instance. the original intent of purchasing this domain was for me to have a space on the web to pursue and work out other interests besides my life’s dream of creating actual, live music. i’ve had a strong passion for other media, especially web media, since i first got introduced to HTML when i was about 12. i also almost ended up being an english major at some point. digital media is art and i enjoy creating art. and that is what 2010 will bring me.

happy new year!

1. enter the haggis – gutter anthems
this album, released in march, is easily 2009’s best album, if not one of the best albums released the past decade. i can’t say enough in praise of gutter anthems. it’s a really mature album from a band i grew up listening to/following around, and a nice brainf*ck/eargasm. eth is a band that i first encountered as a cute little quirky/dorky canadian celtic punk band with an interesting instrumentation that was jamming their faces off. their instrumentation still *shouldn’t* work, but it does. this year, they totally grew up out of nowhere and did nothing but blow my mind constantly. (they’ve been doing that for years) i can’t decide if it was their rage against the machine cover (with bagpipes) or acoustic cameos. or how most of gutter anthems evolved on stage since craig downie’s brief stint with a saxophone at the 2008 celtic fling. while still having hints of their celtic punk/rock roots, they’ve grown into a really progressive and eccentric sound. and they have incredible showmanship and energy to back up their awesome work (as if their work needed any help? ^_^) there’s not one song on this album that i don’t like *something* about. it opens with an organ/pipes intro and closes with eth’s signature style of instrumental awesomeness in alternating 7/8 and 6/8 (broken line) with a bunch of fine songs that showcase their musical diversity and personalities in between. and brian buchanan’s instrumental credit list in the liner notes? yea. did i mention that these guys can double like woah? craig downie is the most quirky/unique wind doubler out there. the thing i must say that i love most is how this album just shouldn’t make sense, yet all of the songs just *fit* with each other.
i’ll just stop rambling now and tell you to go listen to this frigging album!

2. the decemberists -hazards of love
ok… the decemberists’ 2009 release is incredible. it’s an hour-long “rock” opera about a woman named margaret who has fallen in love with william, a shape-shifter and the crazy adventures that happen with other characters such as an evil rake and jealous forest queen. the instrumentation on this album is absurd. there’s slide guitar, banjo, accordion, pedal steel guitar, harpsichord, strings and a bunch of instruments that *shouldn’t* make any sense together… even better? the genref*cking that hazards does is a brilliant mix of folk, folk rock, rock, prog rock, metal and country, just to mention some, and they pull it off flawlessly. colin meloy and jenny conlee did something incredible with this album. seeing it performed live at philly folk fest was probably one of the best performances i’ve ever witnessed. so powerful. i think i’m still recovering, but we can also blame ETH for that one, as it’s their fault for blowing away the rest of my brain that day… the very little that colin meloy left. i get shivers listening to hazards of love 2 (wager all). other sections that also stand out (ok, the story as a whole does) are annan water, the rake’s song and the wanting comes in waves/repaid. i get shivers listening to repaid.. as the alto, shara worden, has a frigging powerful voice… and she can *belt* like woah. this is my favorite decemberists album, but i don’t think it’s the perfect album for a first-time listener.

3. the young dubliners - saints and sinners
released early in the year, february, saints and sinners is the young dubs’ finest. some damn good irish rock here. i want to dance my ass off every time a song from this album comes on my ipod. it’s really fun, slightly serious (eh, not really) and has some pretty catchy tunes on it. i can’t get backseat driver out of my head no matter how hard i try. the title track is pretty kickass as well. young dubs never fail to deliver fun and a good time. i was just pissed that i missed them at bam margera’s bar this year because i had an orchestra concert. hopefully they’ll be back there in 2010. i’ve seen them once and they know how to work a stage and be a fine show to party at. so yea. listen to saints and sinners.

4. mute math - armistice
this album, released in august, is some pretty awesome alt-rock. the rhythm section on this album is incredible and sets the tone for the album right away with the nerve. it pushes through the entire album. the vocals are tight. the instrumentals are just… mind-blowing. this album is just *tight*. the last track, burden, is an awesome last track. it’s got a really catchy melody and some fine instrumentals. and their lyrics? awesome. armistice is a well-written album lyrically and instrumentally. it’s comforting to know that fine alt and prog rock is still being written and mute math is an excellent example.

5. lacuna coil – shallow life
lacuna coil’s most recent attempt. another band i grew up listening to, one of the first bands i ever got into. italian symphonic/gothic metal band with cristina scabbia’s incredible mezzo voice at the lead and andrea ferro on background vox. cristina and andrea sound incredible. it’s not my favorite coil album, and it’s not the most mind-blowing thing i’ve heard…. but it’s different. i like their sound and new direction, but parts of this album feel too forced. i enjoy this album.

6. the von bondies – love, hate and then there’s you
an indie/alt rock band that i’ve gotten into the past few years. this is a pretty cool album, but it reminds me too much of their last one. it’s enjoyable, happy music. chancer and modern saints are my favorite tracks. their sound is interesting and fun. i think that’s what i like about it… and their drummer doesn’t suck. i really enjoy this album.

7. butterfly boucher – scary fragile
i just can’t stop listening to this album. it’s addicting folk/alt-rock. it’s really catchy and shows off butterfly’s versatility as a musician. she plays all of the instruments and sings all of the vocals on this album. she also shows a maturity from flutterby, her first album. i guess my biggest/only problem with it is that it is too short; a little bit over a half hour. but it’s not length that matters most, it’s the work… and she creates some pretty fine music. my favorite track is to feel love. it’s so angry, reminding me a bit of aimee mann or maybe tori amos. part of bitter song sounds a lot like the slow section of radiohead’s paranoid android, or at least the tune does. i’m not sure if it was intentional… but it’s brilliant. it’s the final track on the album and a really interesting way to end the album

8. steven pasquale -  somethin’ like love
ok… i generally don’t like jazz. but i *love* steve pasquale. dilemma!  so, in this album, we have a pretty-good-but-still-higher tenor pretending to be a baritone. this album is so low on my ‘top ten’ list because i can’t get over the fact that he can sing a lot better than he does on this album. it’s enjoyable background music… and his voice is still pretty freaking incredible… but i can’t put my finger around what i don’t love about this album count your blessings instead of sheep is cute… and his ode to his wife, tony winner laura benanti, is gorgeous… but it’s they all laughed that’s my favorite. it’s a cute little song about how society generally laughs at brilliance. but maybe it’s the jazz that gets to me… i just can’t get into jazz no matter what i do…or how much i love steve pasquale’s voice. it’s worth a listen.

9. metric – fantasies
i just love metric. and this album is some of my favorite indie rock. ohhh broken social scene, why the hell are y’all such an awesome super-group that keeps pouring out some awesome groups like metric? they’re one of the very few indie rock bands that i love with a chick singer. emily haines is a pretty awesome alto. this album is full of really catchy tunes with driving indie rock instrumentals. sick muse has been stuck in my head for a while. i can’t stop listening to this album. but thanks to ETH and the decemberists being so epic this year, fine albums like this one almost slipped off my radar. i’m sure that i’ll be listening to it more often in 2010.

10.dream theater - black clouds and silver lining
i’m sure you were wondering where dream theater was on this list.. (or not.) they’ve appeared on a lot of these lists… because they’re just epic. some really fine mind-blowing prog metal. mike portnoy and john petrucci are genius. this is one of their darkest albums. ok, i don’t really like some of their lyric choices this time at all… that seems to be the biggest criticism the album’s gotten from most listeners… but their instrumentals are mind-blowing, as they’ve always been, and this album’s best and most redeeming feature. they’re still pushing the limits of prog metal, even on their tenth album. but i can’t get past the lyrics and they’ve been bothering me since the release of this album. overall, one of my favorites this year. i can’t say it’s one of the best of the decade though. worth a few listens, yes… but good luck separating the lyrics from the rest of their work.

notable mentions

tori amos - abnormally attracted to sin
i frigging love this album. ok. enjoy. it’s still growing on me, seven months later. i’m not sure if i like the direction she’s been going in at all… i love the folkier sound of this album… and the prog rock influence… and the lyrics. not dying today is an awesome song. but i don’t like how her voice is becoming the primary focus. where’s the piano?? i’ve always loved her for doing some cool things with a piano. she’s sounding more like the october project meets pop… i think that’s what is still growing on me. she’s still evolving. so maybe this album will grow on me more. i don’t really dislike it…. but it’s memorable for this year. it’s good, but not incredible. some tracks stick out, but some are forgettable. it’s still worth a listen though.

sonata arctica – the days of grace
love this album. it’s really catchy. it’s nice symphonic metal. not my favorite sonata album… but it’s a good attempt. it’s… fluffly. sonata arctica is one of the first bands that i got into and they’re still creating some good music.

badly drawn boy – is there nothing we could do?
just released two weeks ago… i haven’t had enough time to listen to it enough to get a good feeling for it… but it’s probably better than dream theater’s album overall… and i am a huge dream theater fan. black clouds just didn’t do it for me lyrically… and badly drawn boy is a fantastic lyricist. so, we’ll see.

filter – the very best things
i love this greatest hits album… it’s a good intro to filter for new listeners and a nice retrospective of fine music for long-time listeners.

upcoming
some albums i’m looking forward to in 2010?
oh gawd, i’m gonna be broke really fast.

-barenaked ladies – all in good time. their second album as a quartet (the first was 1994’s born on a pirate ship) scheduled for release in march. after hearing some of the new work on youtube, i’m happy that my favorite band of ever can hold their own sans one of my heroes. i am beyond excited for this album.
-steven page : two albums… his ‘first’ solo album post-BNL (does vanity project count??) and the release of his art of time ensemble performance. also a re-release of the vanity project under his own name… it’s steven page… that’s the only reason i *need* to be excited about.
-dropkick murphys – hell yes. new album. whee!!
-lostprophets – the betrayed. recently got into them. should be a decent album.
-cold war kids – behave yourself. technically, it’s been released a few days ago… but not? i don’t get it, but i’ll probably give it a listen.
-patrick wolf – the conqueror. an artist that i’m just starting to get into.  i’m enjoying his songwriting style for how unique it is.
-vampire weekend – contra. another band i’m just starting to get into. i saw them at some festival or something like… two years ago and they’re pretty nifty.
-serj tankian- elect the dead symphony. i just love soad… so it has to be pretty good. and there’s a greek dude that’s credited with arranging it. and! there’s a song called beethoven’s cunt. win.
- rhapsody of fire – the frozen tears of angels. ok… i just love metal. specifically symphonic metal. *sticks tongue out*
-owen pallett – heartland. in his attempt to not get sued (after going as final fantasy for a good part of his solo career), he is releasing a new album under his own name. cool! he’s pretty awesome and this album will be sweet.
-massive attack – heligoland. i just frigging love massive attack.
-anathema – horizons. an album that didn’t get released this year that will surely be awesome.
-angels and airwaves – love. to be released on valentine’s day… cute. i’m just getting into them.
-tarja turunen – what lies beneath. tarja’s second solo album since getting kicked out of nightwish.
-tobias sammet’s avantasia – the wicked symphony/angel of babylon. i love tobias sammet. and a double album? yay!

song: barenaked ladies — upside down

i don’t know… the irony in this song’s been bugging me for a few years. the main character wants to break free from whatever’s plaguing him and not have his world destroyed… but he wants to do this by keeping everything the same.
and this is besides the fact that steven page is a lyrical genius and these lyrics are to a messed up tango.

-as a side-project of fun… i’m notating all of the vocal lines to gutter anthems. i got bored with school-related things and thought that this would help my ear out… so far, i have most of litter done and typed in and started on cameos. i can crank out a song every two days or so.. and my goal is to get a majority of the vocal lines… perhaps piano, fiddle, bass or chords before christmas… but i’m having fun and not really pushing myself for a date or anything because i don’t believe in deadlines or due dates or whatever.
this little side-project is getting me really motivated to do other things… like practice. so yay.

and now, i’m done rambling.
the end. 

school’s been keeping me busy.
and october’s kind of sucked so far.
like, sucky my-car-exploded on 10.13 sucked. well, my spark plugs did, but yea. close enough. it was probably life-threatening. but my dykesmobile is working mostly properly right now as long as i give it some loving that it deserves for being such a wonderful car!
other things… i think i’m doing pretty well in all of my classes. hopefully.
i also ended up joining the philadelphia freedom band. it’s a nifty little lgbtq/ally community band. those who know me even slightly know that i am a HUGE advocate for community music. and philly’s music ’scene’ has been severely lacking for years now. it’s pretty cool to have a group like that, showing philly’s awesome diversity. we’re playing at a glsen conference in jersey tomorrow and i’m kind of excited… despite knowing that i’ll probably have the irish floo.

other than that, october’s mostly been sad and blah… but screw the sad news!
i’ve been dating an amazing gal for a while now. i can’t really put it into words how amazing she is.
yesterday, i went to class only to come back to… a room full of balloons. 70+ bouncy balloons. i opened my door and started laughing my ass off. it was a pretty amusing surprise. anyone that fills my room with balloons is definitely an amazing person…. and well… my girlfriend’s level of cuteness is at a new level right now. she’s the most brilliant and most adorable and sweet and charming and incredible person i know.
and i think i melted typing that.

so yea. it’s my birthday. i really generally hate birthdays and holidays and any date that has ‘meaning’ assigned to it.
i’ve been cursed with some really shitty birthdays…
my 21st birthday was miserable. i guess because, in my mind, i had imagined the american glamourized birthday celebration for being a legal adult… the kind of celebration i’ve been to for many of my friends since. i was alone at midnight and hating myself, wishing i could do that bar-hopping-everyone-is-happy-to-laugh-at-the-drunk kind of thing. i know it’s very selfish of me, but that’s what i wanted. and i was pissed that my first legal drink was a shot of vodka that i bought myself the next morning. (who the hell buys themselves their first legal drink??)
i was crushed for days and i was crushed again at my senior recital when 20 people called me the morning of telling me they can’t make it anymore. it was a weird series of feeling alone and miserable and pretty worthless to the people i cared about and loved. i don’t really like to dwell on it… but since it’s my birthday and i’m allowed to complain. yea, i’m still pissed that the two events that i was looking forward to for many years ended up being two of the worst experiences i’ve ever had.

but yea. screw that!

because my 21st sucked so hard… i was kind of thinking that my 22nd will to.
but so far, it’s been pretty awesome.
and tonight shall be fun. my roomie is doing a shadow cast of rocky horror picture show in the gayborhood at the william way center. so my girlfriend and i are going to go see her perform and then chaos shall commence in the gayborhood.
those are my birthday plans. because i’ve come to realize that family is defined by love, respect and understanding… not blood. and, gawddammit, i have a pretty amazing family.

if you’re in philly tonight, call/txt me. i will be doing the hopping/frolicking thing in the gayborhood.
despite how badly everything’s been hurting lately… i feel oddly great right now. it’s a weird feeling that i just can’t quite place.

and dammit, the balloons surrounding me are making me die of cuteness.

i don’t feel like saying anything about kiltmas except for the good things about it.
while i know that going was probably not the best decision, i would’ve regretted missing it even more. it was nice seeing my gents and a whole lot of old friends again… and scythian performing twice? would’ve been awesome to have been at  their sunday brunch at the tea room and their evening set the last day of kiltmas, but i sadly couldn’t stay.
leks wore raver goggles both nights… i’m serious. and they played gypsy fiddle… which is, for a lack of a better description, leks fedoryka being really virtuostic while the other three just stand there and look beautiful. oh, and he really puts drama into it. you can catch the performance [here] and see for yourself. mike’s faces make my life. (he’s the sexeh drummer to the left of the screen) i couldn’t stop laughing my arse off at the epic pile of WIN.
also awesome seeing the giant pile of haggis!heads there!
i also ended up at the brew a few times… more than i should’ve…. but i did practice some really good self-control. it was weird being there. i went alone on friday night, but ran into a bunch of people i forgot i was supposed to meet there… because i got lost in my headphones and sipping on a glass of steelworkers’… it is my favorite beer in the world. i never felt so alone before, and that is part of the reason i decided to come back to west chester early. i did manage to divorce myself from the brew enough to hang out at kiltmas though. my self-control was INCREDIBLE, for being at my first legal kiltmas. a few shots of whiskey and a couple glasses of steelworkers’. that’s it. i was really good.

while hanging around kiltmas, i ended up buying myself a new sgian dubh, a ceremonial dagger. i’m in love with the thing! but, more importantly… i found a cute little charm walking around the craft tents that i just *had* to get for someone special to me.
when i got back, she was waiting for me. and i left allentown around 12.30am, so you could only imagine what time i got here. it was insanely late.
and this is what i have to say about that beautiful one…: <3.
that is all.
well… and that she’s actually *heard* of the slightly obscure bands and musicians that i’ve been in lust with for a while.

but yeaaaa… i don’t know/care what else to write.

it’s been an interesting week or so…
it started pretty badly…
my parents, not realizing that i am a month shy of twenty-two and a legal adult, want me to change who i am to fit their old image of me, one that i never was and never will be. they’ve always had dreams of me becoming this perfect fashionista with long, flowing hair, beautiful dresses/gowns, a crap-ton of makeup and high heels. at first glance of me, i am clearly not that person. and i’ve shattered their dreams of who they want me to be, so much that they’ve gone batshit crazy and threatened to take away my car (a possession i value quite a bit, as i worked hard to be its proud owner and driver) if i do not become the WOMAN they want me to be by the end of this week. they expect me to give up my life and happiness for a vision of who they want me to be.
in their minds, a woman is of no value and is not ‘really’ an adult until she is married… and then she is whatever her husband wants her to be.
they want me to give up everything i love in my life in order to keep my means of transportation and, indirectly, my means of supporting myself. they want me to change my appearance drastically and change everything i am passionate about and the people i love because they do not agree with me.
they also want me to stop listening to the music i love, to stop making the music i enjoy making, to change my major to something more ‘feminine’, stop going to see performances (because only whores drive out of town) and stop dressing in the way i am comfortable dressing. in short, they want me to stop living my life and start living the life they expect me to live… one that i would undoubtedly become suicidal attempting to live.  they gave me until the end of the week to start growing my hair out so it’s long again and remove my piercings. they want me to have long hair and a scarred face, to feel ugly. because if i feel ugly, i’m beautiful to them, because i’m conforming to their ideal of what a woman is.
because my life? it’s not mine. it’s theirs. and my decisions and feelings and thoughts? not mine, my friends are dictating my entire life in the wrong direction. i don’t want to look the way i do. my friends want me to. i don’t like the music i love. my friends make me love it. i’m not really a human being. i am whatever those around me make me be.

on my end, i feel really good about my appearance for the first time in my life.
when i got rid of my hair, i felt such a huge relief. one i’ve never felt before. it was a symbol of all the years i tried to be someone i never was. i hated myself. and i’ve recently dyed it blue. (about to do more than just a tint of blue) i’ve dyed my hair every color imaginable at least once, blue being my favorite. they’ve never liked that, and i’ve suffered many bruises from that. once, i wasn’t allowed to use a comb for a week… because ‘punks and hippies are dirty and don’t use combs’, they told me.
and the jewelry in my face? i have 10mm plugs in both of my ears. they are rarely the first thing anyone notices about me. the second, smaller rings? same thing. they blend in. and my eyebrow ring, something they’ve really been getting on my case on? do they realize that if they rip it out it will not only get infected, but the scars will be really unbearable to me? i’d look in the mirror and hate the sight of my own face again.
for the first time i can remember, i don’t hate what’s staring back at me in the mirror.
and i’m healthy… and smiling often. and i don’t want to tear my body apart.

i am far from the fashionista they want me to be. i’ve been passing for a man often. i don’t mind that one bit and in fact embrace and prefer my androgyny. i love messing with people by spiking my hair one day and wearing makeup the next.
my parents are obviously very afraid of and against this. i find beauty in androgyny and art in piercings. i’ve always liked getting rough and playing sports and resented them for forcing skirts and high heels and makeup on me and not allowing me to go play basketball with all of the boys on the playground. they still have that little FRAGILE image of me in their minds… one that they fabricated to make themselves feel like they were doing the right thing for me. they refuse to remember all the times i ruined those precious dresses with grass stains and cuts. my resistance to their forced girlhood was met with beatings and bruises to ‘behave like a girl’.

and they keep insisting that having long hair and removing my facial piercings is in my best interesting… for my health.
what good is looking the way they want me to if i hate my body enough to hurt myself? what good is being who they want me to be if i’m miserable and NOT healthy?

i simply do not understand. i do not understand what is wrong with me… why i am so ugly and stupid and a waste of life. they’ve almost gotten me to believe this and it makes me uncomfortable in my own skin. they’re making me resent my body, despite how i finally feel good about it.
they’ve drained me this week. my voice is still recovering from fighting. i am a music major and absolutely *need* my voice to make it through the semester. they’ve been making so many threats that they’re making me feel very unsafe.
and yet, i am the one making threats. they told me that i make threats with my absolutely hideous appearance. that i’m an eyesore and an anomaly because i’m a failed woman.
i wake up every morning and hate myself.

besides this on-going mess… i’ve had a pretty good week.
this past thursday was my greek name day. a name day is kind of like a 2nd birthday.
so to celebrate, my roommate and i went to annapolis maryland because enter the haggis was playing there at the ram’s head tavern. i’d never been to maryland… and wasn’t planning on going to this concert because it was a two-hour drive from west chester/philly-ish on a weeknight… but there were weird signs all over the place pointing at me going to this concert.
first of all, it was my name day. i hate holidays and birthdays in general, because all they do is  get messed up. and it looked like everything would get messed up that day. of course, the morning phone calls wishing me a happy name day… and then we had a fire drill at 9am. i was just falling back asleep and thought i was dreaming. then, hannah called saying she was in the hospital.
normally, i’m really selfless and drop everything i’m doing to take care of a friend… but this week was just horrible! and i don’t get excited for things often… and i was really excited for this concert, so i guess i was not feeling so great.
also, the venue they played at is called the ram’s head. my favorite bar in west chester, baxter’s, recently changed its name to ram’s head. yea. so annapolis it was.
turns out wcu sucks (SURPRISE!) and gave hannah the wrong meds…. but she was bouncing around and excited to go to the show.
we wore shirts that we created with puffy paint.
we got there pretty early and enjoyed some local beer. i went straight for the local IPA… hah!
upon entering the show space (huge bar!), i got myself a bottle of yuengling… hah. i drive two hours to have yuengling… i know. how silly. (pottstown is really close to west chester) and i also fell in love with a brew called genius stout. creamy stout with a chocolate after-taste… a lot like steelworkers’ stout, only creamier.
the opener were the wild rovers…. who i’ve fallen in lust with! they were quite a fun time and did fisherman’s blues. yea. they were awesome.

then enter the haggis! they are simply amazing. this random excursion was my 25th show. it blows my mind that i’ve seen them perform so many times.
their set simply rocked. and hannah loved it. we were sitting next to brian’s laptop in a corner by stage left and were dancing our asses off the entire set.
no cameos… but broken line was absolutely MINDBLOWING.  it’s gotten better and better every time i’ve seen it performed. and they also did long way home and life for love for encores, and it was pretty awesome…. a lot of songs from gutter anthems… few older songs. suburban plains and lights and cars were the best i’ve heard them be…
the set did not compare to the excitement of having just seen the decemberists a month a go… but it was still pretty frigging incredible! i’m glad hannah enjoyed the set!

craig really liked hannah’s shirt too. so much, that he had her hold his beer to go get a marker to sign it. i probably would’ve taken a sip of it because i lack in self-control. hahaaaa yea. craig is awesome. and we also talked to professor james about brewing for a while. brian was either vaguely amused or scared when i told him i’d just de-virginized hannah. (probably scared? hahaaaa) they’re truly some awesome people.

we stopped at a shady diner in delawhat on the way back. it was next to a store that read PIANOS on it on i-95, so it was clearly a good choice. and it was yummy.

the next night, a bunch of us got incredibly wasted and it was a good night, because i was surrounded by really awesome people.

the next day… jane and i hated life and decided to fill up a kiddie pool with bathwater and turn it into a hottub. it was quite awesome.

then on sunday…. jane, hannah, stoner chris and i went to baltimore for breakfast. yep. because we could. so random, yet so awesome.
after failing at life/directions (google failed!), we got there and ate yummy things and i sipped on a pina colada.
then, we went to a bar called HON. and i had myself a smithwicks and a paulaner. both out of a guinness glass. fail!  the paulaner tasted like a more bitter version of franziskaner’s… but it was delicious.
full of booze, we made it to inner harbor. which gets me back to jane. i like jane a lot.
and it was really cute being at such a pretty place with her. (most awkwardly hilarious ‘double-date’ ever? hahahaa)
yea.
it was a great day and i had a lot of fun!

today has just been bleh. but i love my roomies like woah. so i think it’ll all somehow be ok.

and now, it’s time for food.

i am quite against people who bring out their red, white and blues about four times a year. (memorial day, 4th of july, veterans day and 9.11)  they bother me. i usually end up playing our national march on these national holidays and days of rememberance, so it’s all there, in my face. and it’s disturbing!
i am also a pacifist, which is why i have a fundemental problem with religion. if the modern and commonly practiced religions preach peace, then why are wars fought in the name of a god? if you truly believe in a god who loves everyone, then why is it necessary to blow people up? killing is not an act of love. this is also why i can logically know that a god does not exist.
the quote in the title of this blog and the continuation is from a song in a short-lived 1988 off-broadway show (3 guys naked from the waist down) written by michael rupert called i don’t believe in heroes anymore. while the show’s plot is quite absurd, this [song] is well-written. the last phrase rings in my head from time to time. it’s about war and peace and god and it blows my mind.
growing up, i was told that ‘god’ didn’t pick sides. what the hell is so special about america that ‘god’ would be on our side against ‘the enemy’?
pacifism and christianity cannot coexist as long as wars are fought in the name of a country/god (there’s hardly any difference between the two, is there?)

growing up, i had very few teachers that are memorable or inspired me. today in 2001, i was sitting in my 9th grade honors english class at liberty high when a teacher that ended up being one of those few to inspire me walked in wearing a kilt to tell us to turn on the TV… as dubya had just been spotted with an upside down childrens’ book. i later found out that he would be my history teacher in the spring semester and that he was the advisor of the strategy club. (as well as being an west chester alumn, go figure) i distinctly remember him saying that a few planes had hit buildings and one was in pennsylvania. (schools had been put on lock-down in state, if i remember correctly, and we were not to leave that classroom)

eight years later and countless people i once knew back from “over there” disfigured, it irks me to know that it’s still going on and the sadness will only continue. and all of this because ‘god’ told dubya it was the right thing to do.
i would absolutely hate to be mr obama at this moment. he’s got a lot on his hands, and i honestly don’t think there’s much he can do. in a country where health is not necessarily important unless you are wealthy, that is quite disturbing.
it’s ok to disagree with the US government’s actions. it’s protected under the first amendment of the constitution. and what about the elastic clause? that’s also in the constitution to protect the people.
just don’t frigging wave a flag a few times a year so uncle sam doesn’t hate you. that’s unpatriotic.

god AND country cannot coexist if country is against “them”.