happy birthday to me…

i haven’t blogged in a while because i haven’t gotten the moment to!
so here’s a short entry…

school’s been keeping me busy.
and october’s kind of sucked so far.
like, sucky my-car-exploded on 10.13 sucked. well, my spark plugs did, but yea. close enough. it was probably life-threatening. but my dykesmobile is working mostly properly right now as long as i give it some loving that it deserves for being such a wonderful car!
other things… i think i’m doing pretty well in all of my classes. hopefully.
i also ended up joining the philadelphia freedom band. it’s a nifty little lgbtq/ally community band. those who know me even slightly know that i am a HUGE advocate for community music. and philly’s music ’scene’ has been severely lacking for years now. it’s pretty cool to have a group like that, showing philly’s awesome diversity. we’re playing at a glsen conference in jersey tomorrow and i’m kind of excited… despite knowing that i’ll probably have the irish floo.

other than that, october’s mostly been sad and blah… but screw the sad news!
i’ve been dating an amazing gal for a while now. i can’t really put it into words how amazing she is.
yesterday, i went to class only to come back to… a room full of balloons. 70+ bouncy balloons. i opened my door and started laughing my ass off. it was a pretty amusing surprise. anyone that fills my room with balloons is definitely an amazing person…. and well… my girlfriend’s level of cuteness is at a new level right now. she’s the most brilliant and most adorable and sweet and charming and incredible person i know.
and i think i melted typing that.

so yea. it’s my birthday. i really generally hate birthdays and holidays and any date that has ‘meaning’ assigned to it.
i’ve been cursed with some really shitty birthdays…
my 21st birthday was miserable. i guess because, in my mind, i had imagined the american glamourized birthday celebration for being a legal adult… the kind of celebration i’ve been to for many of my friends since. i was alone at midnight and hating myself, wishing i could do that bar-hopping-everyone-is-happy-to-laugh-at-the-drunk kind of thing. i know it’s very selfish of me, but that’s what i wanted. and i was pissed that my first legal drink was a shot of vodka that i bought myself the next morning. (who the hell buys themselves their first legal drink??)
i was crushed for days and i was crushed again at my senior recital when 20 people called me the morning of telling me they can’t make it anymore. it was a weird series of feeling alone and miserable and pretty worthless to the people i cared about and loved. i don’t really like to dwell on it… but since it’s my birthday and i’m allowed to complain. yea, i’m still pissed that the two events that i was looking forward to for many years ended up being two of the worst experiences i’ve ever had.

but yea. screw that!

because my 21st sucked so hard… i was kind of thinking that my 22nd will to.
but so far, it’s been pretty awesome.
and tonight shall be fun. my roomie is doing a shadow cast of rocky horror picture show in the gayborhood at the william way center. so my girlfriend and i are going to go see her perform and then chaos shall commence in the gayborhood.
those are my birthday plans. because i’ve come to realize that family is defined by love, respect and understanding… not blood. and, gawddammit, i have a pretty amazing family.

if you’re in philly tonight, call/txt me. i will be doing the hopping/frolicking thing in the gayborhood.
despite how badly everything’s been hurting lately… i feel oddly great right now. it’s a weird feeling that i just can’t quite place.

and dammit, the balloons surrounding me are making me die of cuteness.

‘am i the only one…’

‘…who loves when you leave your hair down in front of your eyes?’ – barenaked ladies

i don’t feel like saying anything about kiltmas except for the good things about it.
while i know that going was probably not the best decision, i would’ve regretted missing it even more. it was nice seeing my gents and a whole lot of old friends again… and scythian performing twice? would’ve been awesome to have been at  their sunday brunch at the tea room and their evening set the last day of kiltmas, but i sadly couldn’t stay.
leks wore raver goggles both nights… i’m serious. and they played gypsy fiddle… which is, for a lack of a better description, leks fedoryka being really virtuostic while the other three just stand there and look beautiful. oh, and he really puts drama into it. you can catch the performance [here] and see for yourself. mike’s faces make my life. (he’s the sexeh drummer to the left of the screen) i couldn’t stop laughing my arse off at the epic pile of WIN.
also awesome seeing the giant pile of haggis!heads there!
i also ended up at the brew a few times… more than i should’ve…. but i did practice some really good self-control. it was weird being there. i went alone on friday night, but ran into a bunch of people i forgot i was supposed to meet there… because i got lost in my headphones and sipping on a glass of steelworkers’… it is my favorite beer in the world. i never felt so alone before, and that is part of the reason i decided to come back to west chester early. i did manage to divorce myself from the brew enough to hang out at kiltmas though. my self-control was INCREDIBLE, for being at my first legal kiltmas. a few shots of whiskey and a couple glasses of steelworkers’. that’s it. i was really good.

while hanging around kiltmas, i ended up buying myself a new sgian dubh, a ceremonial dagger. i’m in love with the thing! but, more importantly… i found a cute little charm walking around the craft tents that i just *had* to get for someone special to me.
when i got back, she was waiting for me. and i left allentown around 12.30am, so you could only imagine what time i got here. it was insanely late.
and this is what i have to say about that beautiful one…: <3.
that is all.
well… and that she’s actually *heard* of the slightly obscure bands and musicians that i’ve been in lust with for a while.

but yeaaaa… i don’t know/care what else to write.